hello, hello.

its been awhile eh.
well.. more than awhile.
more like, a long freaking time
since i've last blogged,
but some things just can't be said through vlogs
because itd be like a bloody speech or something.

so anyway, a lot have been running through my mind
and going on in my life
that has left me terribly confused.

well. ..honestly im not confused
i just like to think that i am,
because it seems that ignorance (on purpose) is bliss.
when we all know all ignorance brings
is... well nothing good. hahah

but i mean, what i've been thinking about
is like how me, and almost everyone around me,
have put our identity in things that are just
so fragile and not eternal.
for example,
if you put your identity in your family
and your family makes you feel sure of yourself
and makes you feel secure,
and that you have a future,
that you will always have someone there,
and.. etc.

what if there was an accident,
and your whole family is gone,
with you left alone?
(don't think that it wouldn't happen,
because we all know that its possible.)
or replace the word 'family' with
wife/husband/bf/gf/job/whatever thats big in your life.

yea you will their money, property, possessions,
but whats the use?
you'd feel as if theres really nothing more to life.
(although, there is more of course.)
& you might even start to hate the One
that gives life and takes away,
God.

***

now its really easy to say that i want to put God first in my life,
that He comes before everything,
and that when im tested, i will not fail.
but really.. its got to be the hardest thing to do EVER,
for a human being.
every decision, and choice, and action,
has to be done with Him first.

how do we know that God isn't first in our lives?
Easy.
which do you spend more time doing:

playing computer games or praying?
watching tv or praying?
studying or praying?
playing sports or praying?
talking to your friends or talking to God?

all He's ever asked of me is to put Him first
and as easy it sounds
its something that i've been failing again, and again.

but anyway, i have been trying.

& i just.. wanted to tell people
(if people actually still read my blog.
i'll love you guys forever if you do.)
about how i feel,
and hope that i could be a help somehow.
maybe not today,
or tomorrow.
but someday when you start to lose something
that means the world to you.

we will never and can NEVER lose God.
He is the beginning and the end,
the planner of our lives,
the reason that we even live actually,
and really, all that we could ever need.

and no matter how dark our lives may seem
God is light,
and if God is in our lives,
it means Light will be in our lives.
& if we follow the Light (follow God)
we can't possibly go wrong.

so thats basically all i wanted to say
and as usual, i shall end this blog post with
a narcissistic picture of myself.
lots of love. (:

oh wait.
... i dont think thats me.


there.
heehehehhe
yea , im lame, whatever. hehe
mwah!